My Father's Passing (1)

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Chapter 2 I Get Selective Mutism

My Father's Passing (1)

* * * * * * * * * *

[My Father's Passing]

It was my 10th birthday morning when I was told that my father passed away. I was surprised to hear that. I couldn't expect this tragedy. But I remembered my father's serious condition when I visited him last. I thought that my father's passing may not have been unnatural.

I stayed away from school, and went to a Buddhist temple to attend wake and funeral. My mother and relatives had already gathered together in the temple.

"Your father passed away of cancer."

It was the first time I'd heard what my father had suffered from.

[Funeral Album]

Funeral was taken place. My family, many relatives, my father's colleagues, and my homeroom teacher attended wake and funeral.

To write this entry, I referred to a funeral album edited in those days. My mother looked deeply depressed, probably because of sorrow and tiredness. Seeing the album, I was worried about the future of bereaved mother and children in the photo. I can see the photo objectively now, because many years have passed since my father died.

[Eldest Son of Fatherless Family]

"Tomishige, you have to protect your mother."

Since my father's passing, my mother and many relatives have said to me. I became an eldest son of fatherless family.

I also thought that I had to rebuild a happy family life as an eldest son. So, I had to study hard to get into a good university and company, and marry a good woman.

And I heard that sons of fatherless family have a disadvantage in getting a job and getting married. I had to overcome these obstacles.

But I thought that it was very hard for me to overcome such obstacles. I was an abnormal child who was selectively mute.

Many mothers of children with selective mutism take a stance on protecting their children. On the contrary, I, one child with selective mutism, had to protect my mother.

(To be continued)

Index of SM story

Nengajo, Cumbersome Work!

December is busy month for Japanese. In Japan, from earlier times, December is called Shiwasu, which means teachers are so busy that they run around.

In this busy month, Japanese have to send Nengajo, New Year's greeting postcard. It's a custom in this country.

In earlier times, people wrote Nengajo in handwriting. But today, most people make and print cards with PC and printer. So, in winter, many varieties of Nengajo software are sold well in bookstores and electric stores.

I don't like such an old custom. I can't understand why we have to send postcard in the Internet age. Some even sent cards to people who they don't know well, because it's a custom.

Making and printing Nengajo is cumbersome work. I don't want to spend my valuable time on such thing. I have a lot of ground to cover.

My Father's Sickness

* * * * * * * * * *

Chapter 2 I Get Selective Mutism

My Father's Sickness

* * * * * * * * * *

[My Father's Sickness]

Not only school environment. My Family environment also got worse.

When I moved to the relatives' house, they often took me visiting my father in hospital. But gradually their attitude changed. In summer, they rarely took me to the hospital. Although I sometime said to them, "I wanna visit my father," their responses were "No."

But one day, they took me.

I was deeply shocked to see my father. He was not lively as he used to be. My mother and some relatives attending my father looked quite serious and tired. "S (my father's name,) Tomishige is coming. Can you see him?" One relative said to my father. He didn't suffer from eye disease. But his illness looked so serious that he became extremely weak and his vision was impaired.

My father, though he was seriously weak, told me some words. That was just like his last wish.

Then, we left the sickroom. I didn't imagine his condition got worse until I visited.

[Birth and ...]

It was my 10th birthday morning. When I was getting ready to go to school, the telephone rang. Seeing my relative taking the phone, I wondered who called us at early hour.

After put down the phone, my relative said me, "Tomishige, your father passed away."

(To be continued)

Index of SM story

New Website about Selective Mutism (Japanese)

I created a new website about selective mutism (Japanese). :)

http://smjournal.sakura.ne.jp/index.html

This site includes blog, bbs, and information about selective mutism.

Tomishige, Bullying and Selective Mutism

* * * * * * * * * *

Chapter 2 I Get Selective Mutism

Tomishige, Bullying and Selective Mutism

* * * * * * * * * *

[Bullies]

I was bullied by many classmates, sometimes even by non-classmates.

I cannot forget K, my classmate who bullied me most. K was a cunning boy. He understood how to bully weak children, how to take advantage of them and how to bully them without being found by teachers.

[Enduring Dark Days]

In Japan, some people say, "Bullying are attributed not only to bullies but also to bullied children." If so, what kind of problems caused the bullying? My weakness and shyness? Transferring from other region?

I suppose the reason why my homeroom teacher scolded me again and again was that she thought the bullying are attributed to Tomishige's weakness and shyness. So, she encouraged me to become a tough boy. But in retrospect, I suspect I suffered from selective mutism.

I sometimes talked about bullying with my mother. She often said to me, "Revenge on bullies!" But in school, I got extremely shy, and couldn't speak and move well. In addition, bullies were not one ore two, but tens of classmates. It was not easy for me to revenge on tens of bullies.

(To be continued)

Index of SM story

Selective Mutism in Japanese

I made a simple Japanese-English dictionary of selective mutism. :)

http://nhjournal.kurushiunai.jp/smmm_japanese.html

Index of SM in Japan

A Friend of Mine Protected Me from Bullying

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Chapter 2 I Get Selective Mutism

A Friend of Mine Protected Me from Bullying

* * * * * * * * * *

I had nothing to complain about my new home life.

But in school, I felt there very stressful environment. I was bullied and got mute. I was worried about bullying rather than selective mutism then. I guessed I got mute because many classmates bullied me.

I was bullied by most classmates and even other classes' children. But there was a boy who protected me from bullying. His name was M, a carpenter' son.

I seemed to feel ease with M. One day, a girl classmate criticized me for talking only with M but not with other classmates. But even if I was with M, I couldn't talk smoothly.

I sometimes went to M's house to play with him. This was recorded in my diary which I turned in my homeroom teacher.

May 31 Walk

Invited by him, I went to M's house. I went on foot, because I couldn't go by bicycle. The distance between his house and mine is not so far away. But it takes some time, so I run. I arrived at an intersection. Traffic lights turned green, and I went again. Then, I arrived at M's house.

I was stupid. I recorded the process of going to M's house, not how I played with him. "Invited by him, I went to M's house" shows my passiveness due to selective mutism.

The comments by my homeroom teacher on this was shock to me.

M will change to another school in the next term.

I was unlucky. I had no friends except M. And M was the only classmate who protected me from bullying. But M was to move.

In the second term, M transferred to the B elementary school, near the A elementary school where I went to. No classmate protected me from bullying. I was bullied more severely.

(To be continued)

Index of SM story

The Highly Sensitive Person and Selective Mutism

The Highly Sensitive Person, Dr. Elaine Aron's best seller, has favorable responses among a portion of Japanese parents who have children with selective mutism, and those who have a history of suffering from selective mutism.

I haven't read the books about HSP yet, but from what I've heard, HSP and selectively mute children have many things in common.

Accorging to Dr. Elaine Aron's web site, 7 types of books about HSP in English were sold. But in Japanese, only 2 types. What is worse is that The Highly Sensitive Child, probably the most popular HSP book among parents who have children with selective mutism in English-spoken countries, is not translated into Japanese.

New Home Life

* * * * * * * * * *

Chapter 2 I Get Selective Mutism

New Home Life

* * * * * * * * * *

Not to change the subject, but I'll write about my new home life in this entry.

[House Sitter]

As I mentioned earlier, I lived in my relatives' house. I was often alone in the house after school, because relatives went to work and my mother nursed my father in hospital.

[What Did I Do After School Hours in House?]

Unlike in the school, I was relaxed in the house. I wasn't a mute child there.

What did I do after school hours in the house?

I spent my time reading Japanese manga (e.g. Doraemon, Tsurupika Hagemaru, etc.,) playing video game (e.g. Super Mario Brothers, Dragon Warrior, etc,) or studying.

Before I moved here, I went to learn calligraphy and swimming. But after I moved here, I didn't took any after-school lessons.

I didn't watch TV programs very much. Most programs broadcast after school hours were for adults or young adults (e.g. Ladies 4, Maidens of Aries, news programs, etc.)

I played Menko, Japanese card game. Although Menko is old game, most boys in the school played that with enthusiasm. But nobody didn't play with me. I played alone in my house.

[Going out]

I sometimes went out after school. Interested in the geography of the town, I explored here and there.

I once played with a boy who lived in the house's neighborhood. I didn't get mute when I played with him.

[With My Relatives]

At dinner time, relatives returned home. They were always kind to me. I could talk in the house without any problems.

[Visited My Father in Hospital]

I frequently visited my father in hospital with my relatives. I didn't get mute in the hospital.

My father didn't seem to be ailing. He said to me, "Don't worry. I'll cure my disease and go to work again." My mother nursed my father, but she didn't seem to worry about his condition very much.

My favorite thing was eating Chinese noodle in a gullet at the hospital. Hearing from my mother and relatives that this hospital was the leading hospital in this region, I wasn't anxious about my father.

(To be continued)

Index of SM story

Bullied to Death

Recently Japanese children's tragedies have been widely reported by the media in Japan.

In Hokkaido prefecture, northern Japan, a 6th grade girl committed suicide last year. According to her will, she killed herself because she couldn't bear the brunt of bullying. Last month, it appeared that The Hokkaido Board of Education received copies of the will. But it didn't take any measures. In addition to that, it lost the will.

In Fukuoka prefecture, western Japan, a 8th grade boy committed suicide due to bullying last month. The boy was bullied not only by his classmates, but also by his homeroom teacher. The teacher said, "I swore at him because he was easy to tease." Some classmates bullied other children even after his suicide was widely reported by the media.

In Gifu prefecture, central Japan, a 8th grade girl committed suicide by hanging herself last year. She was also bullied.

These incidents were widely reported by the media. Many Japanese now have strong interest in bullying problem. Prime Minister Shinzo Abe said that he would took measures against bullying speedily.

* * * * * * * * * *

Browsing Japanese websites written by people who had a history of selective mutism, I found that many Japanese children with selective mutism have an experience of being bullied. I suppose that Japanese children with selective mutism tend to be targeted at, because Japanese children tend to hate unusual boy or girl, like selectively mute child.

I Get Selective Mutism (2)

* * * * * * * * * *

Chapter 2 I Get Selective Mutism

I Get Selective Mutism (2)

* * * * * * * * * *

[I was severely bullied]

In the new class, I was bullied. At that time I worried about bullying rather than selective mutism. I believed that severe bullying caused me to be selectively mute.

Being bullied in the previous school, I had expected this to some extent in advance. But bullying in this school was more than I had expected. I was bullied by most classmates. I cried nearly every day, although I was the 4th grade.

[Teacher's Responses to Bullying]

In this way, new school environment was highly stressful. In school I felt as if I were overwhelmed by the atmosphere in the classroom.

I sometimes asked Ms. N, my homeroom teacher, for help. But she didn't game me a helping hand. Instead, I was scolded by her. It seemed that she viewed the cause of bullying as my flaccidness. Although she didn't treat me unfairly, she was strict with me about bullying problem.

Incidentally, she made children keep diaries and turned in. I also did. I could freely write what I thought in the diary. Despite I was selectively mute in school, I could express my thoughts in writing.

(To be continued)

Index of SM story

I Get Selective Mutism (1)

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Chapter 2 I Get Selective Mutism

I Get Selective Mutism (1)

* * * * * * * * * *

In the new school, I couldn't speak as I used to. From then my life with selective mutism started.

[What Caused Me to Get Mute?]

To the best of my memory,

a) I was awfully nervous about the new environment
b) I couldn't get used to the atmosphere of the classroom
c) I was bullied

I suppose the above factors caused me to get mute.

[The Atmosphere of the Classroom]

I was puzzled by the atmosphere of the classroom. Many classmates seemed to be rough unlike previous ones. Being a timid boy, I couldn't get used to the atmosphere of the classroom.

In addition, I was extremely shocked by being called my name without an honorifics. It may be funny for you, but for me it was serious problem. In the previous school, I was firmly taught not to call children's names without honorifics.

(To be continued)

Index of SM story

Anxiety, Conflict, Psychodynamics, Psychoanalysis and Selective Mutism

I'm not familiar with psychoanalysis. But I suppose that in the past selective mutism was thought to be neurosis, and that was the reason why past theories about the etiology of selective mutism focused on family pathology. In psychodynamics approach, it is thought that children who were brought up in pathological families have the risk of creating conflict. Such conflict cause neurosis.

However, recent theories focused on biological factor. According to selectivemutism.org, amygdala, the almond-shaped area of the brain, cause children with selective mutism to be extremely anxious. This discovery is probably a fruit of brain science.

Changing School (2)

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Chapter 2 I Get Selective Mutism

Changing School (2)

* * * * * * * * * *

[New Environment]

At the end of April, I moved to my relatives' house. On the other hand, my father was sent to hospital to treat his illness.

My relatives welcomed me with much kindness. Acquaintances of mine (a girl and a boy) who lived in the house's neighborhood also welcomed me.

I wasn't afraid of new environment very much, because my family and I had visited their house every Bon holidays, the Buddhist All Souls' Day. My relatives and acquaintances were always kind to me, so I trusted them.

[Preparing For School]

I would go to school as soon as I moved here. But I couldn't. My mother didn't seem to have completed moving-in formalities yet. I did nothing at home.

One relative guided me to the elementary school where I was going to go to. Although we didn't go in the school, we viewed the school building and ground from a distance. I had something like 30% of expectation and 70% of fearful.

The first time I went in the school was about 1 or 2 days before I attended lesson first. In this day parent-teacher-student meeting was held, and I first saw Ms. N, my homeroom teacher.

After that the day was coming when I attended lesson and saw my classmates for the first time.

(To be continued)

Index of SM story

Changing School (1)

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Chapter 2 I Get Selective Mutism

Changing School (1)

* * * * * * * * * *

In the previous chapter I was a shy boy, but not selective mutism. In this chapter I got mute.

[Moving]

"We family will move from here."

My mother told me a shocking plan which will change my destiny.

It was April. I had just gone into the 4th grade (Unlike in the US, Back to School Day in Japan is April.)

According to my mother, details were such as below.

a) We'll move from here to relatives on my father's side's house in another prefecture, because my father will transfer to another hospital.

b) I will also transfer to another school.

c) By the time my father will recover from his illness, my family will share relatives' house.

I felt anxiety about moving from familiar environment to alien one. But I child was obliged to obey the plan decided by adult.

[Classmates' Cold Attitude]

My mother told the moving plan to my homeroom teacher. And the teacher told the plan to my classmates. But they didn't seem to be interested in my moving. It wasn't odd, because I had few friends due to my shyness.

At the end of April, I left my familiar school and town.

(To be continued)

Behavior Analysis and Selective Mutism

I study psychology by myself, especially the genre which is called "behavior analysis."

The fruits of behavior analysis are used in the therapy of selective mutism.

For example, Helping Your Child With Selective Mutism, a practical guide to treat selective mutism for parents, is an apllication of "shaping."

Shaping is an idea of behavior analysis. To teach a behavior, behavior analysis gradually reinforce behavior with rewards.

About Maiko (BlogPet)

My name is Maiko. I'm a virtual female rabbit who comes from a Japanese web site "BlogPet."

If you click me, I speak Japanese word or phrases. I'm not selectively mute. Very occasionally I compose haiku, Japanese seventeen-syllable poem.

My name is derived from maiko, apprentice geisha in the kansai area, western Japan.

* * * * * * * * * *

I've heard that geisha is well known in the world. But according to Tomishi, most Japanese seldom see geisha.

One company placed an funny advertisement on BusinessWeek. On the ad a geisha on camelback in Fukuoka, western Japan, is illustrated . But Tomishi says no camels live in Japan, except for in zoo.

1st-3rd grade (4)

* * * * * * * * * *

Chapter 1 Before I Became Selectively Mute (6)

1st-3rd grade (4)

* * * * * * * * * *

[My Father]

My father was generous. Unlike my mother, he didn't scold me very much.

My father was busy working, so I didn't have enough time to spend with him. But he sometimes took my family for a ride in his car on Sunday. Although we visited many historical sights, I don't remember well where we went. It's a shame.


(The image above is a souvenir we bought at the industrial heritage of Ikuno Silver Mine, western Japan.)

My father worked with enthusiasm. But he gradually became ill and was hospitalized when I was the third grade.

[My Relatives]

In the Bon holidays, the Buddhist All Souls' Day, we visited my relatives' residences. My parents was born in the residences which are remote from Kansai region, where I was born. My relatives always showed me great kindness. And I became friendly with a girl and a boy who lived in the residence's neighborhood. I felt that all people who live in there was good person.

* * * * * * * * * *

[School Life]

In this way, three years had passed since I entered elementary school.

At the last day of the school term, two classmates left the school and transferred to another school. The one is the boss of the kids, and the other is my first love.

I had seen many classmates who left from the school. But I believed that it was not my problem even if my first love transferred.

(To be continued on the next chapter)

1st-3rd grade (3)

* * * * * * * * * *

Chapter 1 Before I Became Selectively Mute (6)

1st-3rd grade (3)

* * * * * * * * * *

This entry is about me and my parents (especially mother) when I was the 1st-3rd grade.

[My Parents]

My father and mother were an ordinary parents. Father went to work. Mother did household chores.

[My Mother]

My mother was an ordinary mother who often scolded her son and didn't buy what he wanted to. :-( According to her, she disciplined me a little severely because I was the eldest son.

My mother was nervous. On the other hand, I was extremely careless about so many things. So, I was often scolded by her with anger. I was rarely praised in my childhood.

To me, her scoldings were very painful. I realized how anger hurt a person's feelings. I became a mild boy who doesn't express anger.

I was deeply afraid of her scoldings, "You shouldn't do that !" I grew up to be an anxious boy who often worried about my behavior, though it was not clear whether her discipline affected my anxious or not.

And I grow up to be a man of low self-esteem. My mother now sometimes regrets her past scoldings and says, "I may have scolded Tomishi too much." But it is not also certain whether my low self-esteem is due to her scoldings or not.

(To be continued)

1st-3rd grade (2)

* * * * * * * * * *

Chapter 1 Before I Became Selectively Mute (6)

1st-3rd grade (2)

* * * * * * * * * *

[After-School Hours]

I can't clearly remember what I did after school.

I went to learn calligraphy and swimming. But I don't know what I did on the day when the lessons are not offered.

Children except for me seemed to play with their friends every day. But I had few such friends. Maybe I played outside on my own.

I may have studied or done nothing in particular at home. I didn't play TV games and read comics very much, because my mother didn't buy for me. I have some memories of watching TV.

[Don't Call Children's Names without Honorifics!]

We were not supposed to call children's names without honorifics because of the school rule. All children, even disobedient children, obeyed this rule meekly. So, some children bullied me and said, "Drop dead!, Mr. Tomishi!" How courteous name-calling it was!

Growing up in such circumstances, I believed that calling classmates' names without honorifics is an appalling act. But I realized that it's not a common practice when I moved to another region afterward.

[Photo of Making a V Sign]

This photo is from my album. It was taken when I went on an excursion. I was the third grade.

This photo indicates that I could make a V sign then. After a half year, I coudln't make a V sign because I suffered from selective mutism.

(To be continued)

Demands for Support for Selectively Mute Children

How often words and phrases related to selective mutism are searched for?

[English]

selective mutism : 71.0/day
mutism : 17.0/day
elective mutism : 8.0/day
selective mutism in child : 5.0/day
selective mutism therapy : 1.7/day

[German]

mutismus : 4.3/day
selektiver mutismus : 2.7/day
mutismus fallbeispiel : 1.4/day
mutismus schule fallbeispiel : 0.6/day
mutismus de : 0.3/day
musiktherapie mutismus : 0.3/day
mutismus therapie : 0.3/day
behandlung mutismus : 0.3/day

[Japanese]

緘黙 : 123.4/day
場面緘黙 : 42.8/day
場面緘黙症 : 29.1/day
緘黙症 : 28.5/day
選択性緘黙 : 8.7/day

(Data from Wordtracker, retrieved August 31, 2006)
(I'm sorry if the above characters are garbled)

I was surprised. There are so many Japanese Internet users who search for the words and phrases related to selective mutism.

According to comScore World Metrix, online populations in Japan are estimated about 52.1 million (March 2006.) On the other hand, US are 152.0 million, UK are 30.2 million. Germany are 31.8 million.

This data suggests that there can be so many demands for information about selective mutism in Japan, compared with in other countries. But Japanese information is poorer than US, UK and Germany. Strong support group, like Selective Mutism Group Inc, Selective Mutism Foundation, Selective Mutism Information and Research Association and Mutismus Selbsthilfe Deutschland e. V., doesn't exist.

Some Japanese think the reason why the support for selective mutism in Japan is poor is that there are few demands. But I doubt it.

Index of SM in Japan

1st-3rd grade (1)

* * * * * * * * * *

Chapter 1 Before I Became Selectively Mute (5)

1st-3rd grade (1)

* * * * * * * * * *

[Shy Child]

I was a shy child, and had few friends. Being physically weak, I wasn't good at sports. I was sometimes bullied by fellow pupils.

[Bright Side]

Soon after I entered the school, I encountered many difficulties, as I wrote earlier. But the worst was over. I gradually adjusted myself to the new environment. The bright side appeared.

I worried about my extremely poor arithmetic ability. So, I asked my parents to buy a drill in arithmetic. I solved many problems over and over again. In class I listened to my homeroom teacher's explanations seriously, and didn't forget to do my homework. Thanks to the constant effort, I got to be able to follow the class.

When I was a junior student, I gave full play to my abilities in art class. In the 1st grade, I draw animal pictures and that was awarded gold prize. In the 2nd grade, I made a mask of middle-aged man and that was awarded "Kowaide-shou" (the Fearful Mask Prize.)

I also gave full play to my abilities in playing recorder in music class. I played many compositions well which are difficult to play for junior students, such as "Edelweiss" or "Fuji-san" (Mount Fuji.)

And I got to be familiar with insect, because I read the insect book well which my parents bought for me. I was called "Doctor of Insect" by classmates and was slightly admired.

Even so, I was sometimes bullied.

(To be continued)

Loser School Child

* * * * * * * * * *

Chapter 1 Before I Became Selectively Mute (4)

Loser School Child

* * * * * * * * * *

After I graduated from kindergarten, I entered into a neighborhood public elementary school.

By the time I enrolled the school, I broke myself of my annoying habit of wetting my pants outside, though I was still in diaper when I went to bed.

In the school I found many children who I had gotten acquainted with in kindergarten. My anxiety about interpersonal relationships slightly declined.

Although I didn't suffer from selective mutism in the school, I encountered other difficulties again.

[Extremely Physically Weak]

Elementary school is different from kindergarten. School teachers evaluates children.

I was appalled in PE lesson to become aware that I was extremely physically weak. Whatever race I had, I finished second to last! The last boy was Mr. U who had handicap. As the PE lesson is provided for both sexes, I lost even to girls.

[I was Bullied]

Being weak, I was bullied by children, including girls.

[Too Stupid]

What is worse is that I was too stupid.

I had a humiliating experience when I learned addition in a math class.

Even children who just entered elementary school knew "one and one is two." But, for example, "two and three is five" was difficult to understand. Many classmates calculated hard with their fingers and thumbs.



Ms. A, my homeroom teacher, repeated, "I won't teach children subtraction until all children get to be able to do add without their fingers and thumbs." She had an uncompromising belief that she will not make any children in her homeroom drop out.

So, she taught addition carefully to children who said they couldn't understand it well. She taught with zeal, especially to Mr. U who had handicap.

At last, Mr. U got to be able to do add without using his fingers and thumbs. At that moment, she said, "Everyone gets to be able to do add without using your fingers and thumbs! Now I'll teach you subtraction!!"

But she wasn't aware that there was still one child who didn't master addition. The child was ... me. She, a teaching professional, couldn't imagine such slow child existed.

[Loser School Child]

When I entered elementary school, I was aware that I was a severe loser child. I wondered why such differences existed between children.

(To be continued)

Selective Mutism in the World

場面緘黙症 (Japanese)
선택적 함묵증 (Korean)
选择性缄默症 (Simplified Chinese)
избирательный мутизм (Russian)
selectief mutisme (Dutch)
mutisme sélectif (French)
selektiver Mutismus (German)
selektiivinen mutismi (Finnish)
selective mutism (English)

(I'm sorry if the above characteres are garbled)

I tried to read websites about selective mutism in various languages, except for English and Japanese, through Excite translator (Japanese) and Babelfish translator.

Here are some findings:

[There Are Not So Much Differences in Explanation of Selective Mutism among Countries]

It may be natural, because symptoms of mental disorder in general are not so much different among countries.

[Little Information, Little Communities]

There are little information about selectivfe mutism. In many countries no books on selective mutism are published.

Some websites ' explanations are translation from English. I think no other countries' websites have more information about selective mutism than English speaking countries' ones.

The number of communities, such as forums, BBSes, etc. is also limited.

[Many Books on Selective Mutism in German]

But Germany is exceptional. The self-help group "Mutismus Selbsthilfe Deutschland eV" and its web site exists. In addition, many German books on selective mutism are published.

* Boris Hartmann. Gesichter des Schweigens - die systemische Mutismus-Therapie. SYMUT als Therapiealternative (Faces of Silence - Systemic Therapy of Mutism. SYMUT as Therapy Alternative)

* Boris Hartmann. Mutismus im Kindes-, Jugend- und Erwachsenenalter (Mutism in Child, Youth and Adult Age )

* Nitza Katz-Bernstein. Selektiver Mutismus bei Kindern. Erscheinungsbilder, Diagnostik, Therapie (Selective Mutism with Children. Appearances, Diagnostics, Therapy)

* Otto Dobslaff. Mutismus in der Schule. Erscheinung und Therapie (Mutism in School. Appearnce and Therapy)

* Reiner Bahr. Wenn Kinder schweigen. Redehemmungen verstehen und behandeln. Ein Praxisbuch (If Children are Silent. Understainding and Treating Speech Inhibitions. A Practice Book)

* Reiner Bahr. Schweigende Kinder verstehen. Kommunikation und Bewaeltigung beim selektiven Mutismus (Understainding Silent Children. Communication and Overcoming Selective Mutism)

* Boris Hartmann. Mutismus. Zur Theorie und Kasuistik des totalen und elektiven Mutismus (Mutism. The Theory and Case Reports of the Total and Elektive Mutism)

English names are translated by me, though I'm not good at German.

[Japanese Trend?]

I can find many Japanese websites (including blogs) managed by mothers who have selectively mute children. Websites written by people who suffered or suffer selective mutism also popular.

But from what I found, this is only Japanese trend.

Loser Child

* * * * * * * * * *

Chapter 1 Before I Became Selectively Mute (3)

Loser Child

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[ Loser Child ]

What was worse was that I was extremely dull, slow and clumsy. Whatever I did, I was at the bottom of the class I belonged to.

All classmates clearly seemed to be cleverer, smarter, and more intelligent than me. I had an inferiority complex. I wondered why such differences existed between classmates.

[Wetted My Pants!]

What is worse is that I sometimes wetted my pants in the kindergarten! Whenever I had an accident, I loudly cried and that bothered my teacher.

There were few children who wetted their pants there. We were 5 year old children, not 2 or 3 years old. But I did many times over.

[Terrible!]

Of course, there are differences between children to some extent. Some children are bright, others are dull. But I was dull in the extreme.

I think I may have been mentally retarded. As I wrote, I couldn't utter a word until I was 3 years old.

I felt anxious about my future although I was only a child.

(To be continued)

Entering Kindergarten

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Chapter 1 Before I Became Selectively Mute (2)

Entering Kindergarten

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I entered kindergarten when I was 5 years old.

It is well known that in most cases the selectively mute children's problems happen when they enter kindergarten or elementary school. But my problem had not begun until I was the fourth grade.

Although I didn't suffer from selective mutism in kindergarten, I encountered other difficulties.

[Entering Kindergarten]

I enrolled a neighborhood kindergarten. Although some kindergartens accepted 3-4 years old children, the one recruited only 5 years old.

I was unable to adapt to the new environment. I suppose everyone more or less faced difficulties when they enter kindergarten. But my experience was terrible.

[I was Isolated]

As I wrote before, there was an apartment complex behind my house. I found that many children in the kindergarten lived in the apartment complex and they already attach to each other. But I wasn't. I was isolated.

(To be continued.)

Late Developer ?

As I wrote, the main purpose of this blog is to share my memories of selective mutism in English. So, I'll share them from now on.

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Chapter 1 Before I Became Selectively Mute (1)

Late Developer ?

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[Speech Delay]

"Is my son mentally retarded?"

My mother ran into trouble when I was an infant. I had not uttered a word until I was 3 years old.

I'm not sure whether my speech delay was related to my selective mutism, though, I suppose I was a late developer.

[A Few Friends]

When I was a baby, my family moved to Kansai region, western Japan, because my father was transferred there. After we lived in an apartment in Kansai for a few years, my parents rented a house in the same town. We lived there.

There were about 10 houses nearby my one and some young married couples and children lived there. Among them I made friends with two children, one girl (I-chan) and one boy (T-kun.) We often played together.

[Apartment Complex behind my House]

There was an apartment complex behind my house. Many children lived there, but I couldn't get along with them. I played with a few friends, such as I-chan and T-kun until I entered kindergarten.

(to be continued)

Selective Mutism in Japan

[US]

Selective Mutism Group Inc
Selective Mutism Foundation

[UK]

Selective Mutism Information and Research Association

[Germany]

Mutismus Selbsthilfe Deutschland e. V.

[Japan]

:(

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There are no self-help groups of selective mutism in Japan.

What is worse is that few Japanese teachers, therapists and physicians are familiar with this complex disorder.

I suppose that is because there are no Japanese researchers specializing in selective mutism. The only Japanese book on selective mutism written by professional is Bamen Kanmokuzi No Shinri To Shido (Psychology and Guidance of Children with Selective Mutism,) published in 1994. Most Japanese, except for a handful of people who can read English, rely on findings that are over a decade ago. Myth persists. For example, "Selective mutism is caused by abuse, neglect or trauma."

Index of SM in Japan

About Me

I'm a Japanese man who may have suffered from selective mutism about 10 years. When I couldn't speak at school, I didn't see any specialists. So, to my regret, I can't fully evaluate whether I was a selective mute child or not.

The first time I became mute was when I was 9 years old. My words didn't come out when I changed my school. It may be odd, because it is known that selective mutism mostly manifest itself when children enter kindergarten or school. But according to a study, selective mutism develop even after puberty in rare cases.

When I graduated from college, I was still too shy. I couldn't get a job.

Right now I spend my time managing my blog The Selective Mutism Journal written in Japanese aimed at introducing the latest findings about Selective Mutism from US, Canada or UK into Japan. In addition, I learn how to earn income every day. Of course, I study English every day. :)

Preface

Selective mutism is a psychological symptom characterized by a persistent inability to speak in selected situations. Selective mutism is regarded as childhood anxiety disorder, but it can have lasting effects.

The main purpose of this blog is to share my memories of selective mutism in English.

In Japan some adult people who once suffered from selective mutism share their experiences online. I am no exception. I write my story at The Selective Mutism Journal and that gets good response. But it's Japanese only. So, I start this blog to share my memories with the world.