* * * * * * * * * *
Chapter 2 I Get Selective Mutism
My Father's Passing (1)
* * * * * * * * * *
[My Father's Passing]
It was my 10th birthday morning when I was told that my father passed away. I was surprised to hear that. I couldn't expect this tragedy. But I remembered my father's serious condition when I visited him last. I thought that my father's passing may not have been unnatural.
I stayed away from school, and went to a Buddhist temple to attend wake and funeral. My mother and relatives had already gathered together in the temple.
"Your father passed away of cancer."
It was the first time I'd heard what my father had suffered from.
[Funeral Album]
Funeral was taken place. My family, many relatives, my father's colleagues, and my homeroom teacher attended wake and funeral.
To write this entry, I referred to a funeral album edited in those days. My mother looked deeply depressed, probably because of sorrow and tiredness. Seeing the album, I was worried about the future of bereaved mother and children in the photo. I can see the photo objectively now, because many years have passed since my father died.
[Eldest Son of Fatherless Family]
"Tomishige, you have to protect your mother."
Since my father's passing, my mother and many relatives have said to me. I became an eldest son of fatherless family.
I also thought that I had to rebuild a happy family life as an eldest son. So, I had to study hard to get into a good university and company, and marry a good woman.
And I heard that sons of fatherless family have a disadvantage in getting a job and getting married. I had to overcome these obstacles.
But I thought that it was very hard for me to overcome such obstacles. I was an abnormal child who was selectively mute.
Many mothers of children with selective mutism take a stance on protecting their children. On the contrary, I, one child with selective mutism, had to protect my mother.
(To be continued)
Index of SM story
