* * * * * * * * * *
Chapter 3 I suffer from severe selective mutism
Lack of friends made me happy (1)
* * * * * * * * * *
If you find a child who have no friends, do you think he or she is happy or unhappy?
Most people will answer, "He or she is unhappy."
I can agree with that. Anxious child, especially, tend to feel lonely. But there's an exception.
[I felt pleasure in being alone]
My friendless state has continued for more than half a year. The last friend I made was M whom I got acquainted with in the previous school.
At first I felt lonely. I desired for friends.
But gradually, my feelings changed. I felt pleasure in being alone. I was satisfied with refusing friendship and spending my time with doing what I wanted. I never thought that being alone was fun!
I enjoyed solitude. Being alone gave me freedom. I thought my friendless state positively. That made my school life happy. You may think that I was an eccentric boy, though.
(To be continued)
Index of SM story
Wednesday, February 28, 2007
Monday, February 26, 2007
I was a serious boy only in school(2)
* * * * * * * * * *
Chapter 3 I Suffer From Severe Selective Mutism
I was a serious boy only in school(2)
* * * * * * * * * *
[I was not serious!]
My teacher and most classmates viewed me as serious. But in my house, I was not such a boy. In fact, I liked a gag cartoon Tsurupika Hagemaru.
"Tomishige is serious. So, you watch only serious TV program, didn't you?"
I was sometimes asked that way by my classmates. I couldn't shake my head honestly.
Everyone viewed me as a serious boy. My homeroom teacher, especially, praised my seriousness. So, I was obsessed by the idea that I must behave like a genuine serious boy.
In this way, I was not able to relax in school more and more. Its' my own fault, though.
[After that]
Lastly, I'll write a bit about my life after I graduated from elementary school.
When I was in junior high school, high school and college, I was viewed as serious as before. Some people said, "I've never seen such a serious man!"
In addition, my families also viewed me as serious, probably because I was obsessed by the idea that I must be serious, and behaved that way.
The beginning of my long "serious life" was the 5th grade area.
(To be continued)
Index of SM story
Chapter 3 I Suffer From Severe Selective Mutism
I was a serious boy only in school(2)
* * * * * * * * * *
[I was not serious!]
My teacher and most classmates viewed me as serious. But in my house, I was not such a boy. In fact, I liked a gag cartoon Tsurupika Hagemaru.
"Tomishige is serious. So, you watch only serious TV program, didn't you?"
I was sometimes asked that way by my classmates. I couldn't shake my head honestly.
Everyone viewed me as a serious boy. My homeroom teacher, especially, praised my seriousness. So, I was obsessed by the idea that I must behave like a genuine serious boy.
In this way, I was not able to relax in school more and more. Its' my own fault, though.
[After that]
Lastly, I'll write a bit about my life after I graduated from elementary school.
When I was in junior high school, high school and college, I was viewed as serious as before. Some people said, "I've never seen such a serious man!"
In addition, my families also viewed me as serious, probably because I was obsessed by the idea that I must be serious, and behaved that way.
The beginning of my long "serious life" was the 5th grade area.
(To be continued)
Index of SM story
Sunday, February 25, 2007
I was a serious boy only in school(1)
* * * * * * * * * *
Chapter 3 I Suffer From Severe Selective Mutism
I was a serious boy only in school(1)
* * * * * * * * * *
[I Was a Serious Boy Only in School]
Serious, perfectionism, obedient...
Are there such kind of children with selective mutism?
When I suffered from severe selective mutism, I was also called Majime (serious) in school. It was odd. I was an ordinary boy in my house, but when I went to school, I became a serious boy.
Moreover, I was viewed as a bright boy in school(it was a misundersting, though).
So, I earned some respect from my classmates. I was not bullied in the class.
[Why Was I Viewed As A Serious Boy?]
* Because I was so obedient? *
I was so obedient to teachers. I never rebelled against them. Sometimes I very firmly adhered to rules. That probably caused my teacher and classmates to view me as a serious boy.
But I had not been serious in school before my selective mutism got worse. Selective mutism made me serious?
* Because I made efforts by using my inferior complex as a springboard? *
I had an inferior complex by nature. After I got selective mutism, my complex worsened. But I used the complex as a springboard and made efforts. Maybe that caused my teacher and classmates to view me as a serious boy.
For instance, I was very weak in PE and that gave me complex. But I thought that that was why I should train my body hard in PE lesson.
* Because I studied arithmetic in my break between classes? *
I couldn't make friends in the new class. I was always alone in my break between classes. Having nothing to do with, I studied arithmetic alone. Maybe that caused my teacher and classmates to view me as a serious boy.
And I was viewed as a bright boy (it was a misundersting, though). When quiet children are studying without uttering a word, many Japanese seem to regard them as bright children.
(To be continued)
Index of SM story
Chapter 3 I Suffer From Severe Selective Mutism
I was a serious boy only in school(1)
* * * * * * * * * *
[I Was a Serious Boy Only in School]
Serious, perfectionism, obedient...
Are there such kind of children with selective mutism?
When I suffered from severe selective mutism, I was also called Majime (serious) in school. It was odd. I was an ordinary boy in my house, but when I went to school, I became a serious boy.
Moreover, I was viewed as a bright boy in school(it was a misundersting, though).
So, I earned some respect from my classmates. I was not bullied in the class.
[Why Was I Viewed As A Serious Boy?]
* Because I was so obedient? *
I was so obedient to teachers. I never rebelled against them. Sometimes I very firmly adhered to rules. That probably caused my teacher and classmates to view me as a serious boy.
But I had not been serious in school before my selective mutism got worse. Selective mutism made me serious?
* Because I made efforts by using my inferior complex as a springboard? *
I had an inferior complex by nature. After I got selective mutism, my complex worsened. But I used the complex as a springboard and made efforts. Maybe that caused my teacher and classmates to view me as a serious boy.
For instance, I was very weak in PE and that gave me complex. But I thought that that was why I should train my body hard in PE lesson.
* Because I studied arithmetic in my break between classes? *
I couldn't make friends in the new class. I was always alone in my break between classes. Having nothing to do with, I studied arithmetic alone. Maybe that caused my teacher and classmates to view me as a serious boy.
And I was viewed as a bright boy (it was a misundersting, though). When quiet children are studying without uttering a word, many Japanese seem to regard them as bright children.
(To be continued)
Index of SM story
Thursday, February 22, 2007
New Classmates
* * * * * * * * * *
Chapter 3 I Suffer From Severe Selective Mutism
New Classmates
* * * * * * * * * *
[I Was Not Bullied! I Did Not Sob!]
I was not bullied in this class, probably because Mr.Y's special care of me. It was the first time I had not been bullied in school.
Moreover, I didn't sob in the class, unlike in the privious class.
Many classmates was kind to me. I supposed that they didn't know a term "selective Mutism." But they seemed to understand that it took all sorts, including a child like me who couldn't speak, to make a world.
I couldn't talk, but many classmates spoke to me. They usually asked closed questions which forces a yes or no. So, all I had to do was nodding or shaking my head. I didn't have to utter words to answer their questions.
[A Kind Girl]
Among many classmates my friends was most kind to me (I'll give the details later). Other classmates who was especially kind to me was T, a kinky permanent girl.
Whatever class I was in, a few girls was kind to me. I didn't know why they were so kind to me. I guessed that they liked to do things for others.
Other than Mr.Y's special care of me, there were some reasons why I wasn't bullied.
(To be continued)
Index of SM story
Chapter 3 I Suffer From Severe Selective Mutism
New Classmates
* * * * * * * * * *
[I Was Not Bullied! I Did Not Sob!]
I was not bullied in this class, probably because Mr.Y's special care of me. It was the first time I had not been bullied in school.
Moreover, I didn't sob in the class, unlike in the privious class.
Many classmates was kind to me. I supposed that they didn't know a term "selective Mutism." But they seemed to understand that it took all sorts, including a child like me who couldn't speak, to make a world.
I couldn't talk, but many classmates spoke to me. They usually asked closed questions which forces a yes or no. So, all I had to do was nodding or shaking my head. I didn't have to utter words to answer their questions.
[A Kind Girl]
Among many classmates my friends was most kind to me (I'll give the details later). Other classmates who was especially kind to me was T, a kinky permanent girl.
Whatever class I was in, a few girls was kind to me. I didn't know why they were so kind to me. I guessed that they liked to do things for others.
Other than Mr.Y's special care of me, there were some reasons why I wasn't bullied.
(To be continued)
Index of SM story
Wednesday, February 21, 2007
Should MEXT introduce English education into elementary school?(2)
[Proponents]
MEXT should introduce compulsory English classes into elementary school.
We need to learn English more seriously due to globalization. But Japanese TOEFL average score is the worst among Asian countries. Other Asian countries, e.g. China, South Korea, have already introduced English classes into elementary school.
Another reason is that children can learn proper pronunciation by learning English early.
Some people argue that elementary school children should learn "beautiful Japanese" rather than English, because they are Japanese. But as Goethe said, "He who knows not foreign languages knows nothing of his own." Those who don't study foreign languages can't understand how "beautiful" Japanese is.
[Opponents]
MEXT should not introduce compulsory English classes into elementary school.
Children should learn Japanese rather than English, because they are Japanese. And those who master their native language tend to master foreign language speedily.
Language is basis of thought. If children don't have rich vocabulary in native language, they don't have rich vocabulary to think as well.
Moreover, there is no time to study English for elementary school children. Time to study is limited in school. They should study many kinds of things rather than English. People who speak English fluently but know nothing aren't genuine cosmopolitan.
MEXT should introduce compulsory English classes into elementary school.
We need to learn English more seriously due to globalization. But Japanese TOEFL average score is the worst among Asian countries. Other Asian countries, e.g. China, South Korea, have already introduced English classes into elementary school.
Another reason is that children can learn proper pronunciation by learning English early.
Some people argue that elementary school children should learn "beautiful Japanese" rather than English, because they are Japanese. But as Goethe said, "He who knows not foreign languages knows nothing of his own." Those who don't study foreign languages can't understand how "beautiful" Japanese is.
[Opponents]
MEXT should not introduce compulsory English classes into elementary school.
Children should learn Japanese rather than English, because they are Japanese. And those who master their native language tend to master foreign language speedily.
Language is basis of thought. If children don't have rich vocabulary in native language, they don't have rich vocabulary to think as well.
Moreover, there is no time to study English for elementary school children. Time to study is limited in school. They should study many kinds of things rather than English. People who speak English fluently but know nothing aren't genuine cosmopolitan.
Tuesday, February 20, 2007
Should MEXT introduce English education into elementary school?(1)
One of the most controversial topic on education in Japan is to introduce compulsory English education classes into elementary school. At present most Japanese children learn English from junior high school.
The Central Council for Education, a council in the Ministry of Education, Culture, Sports, Science and Technology (MEXT, a Japanese ministry), recommended in March 2006 that MEXT introduce compulsory English classes from 5th to 6th grade.
But in September 2006, Bunmei Ibuki, Minister of Education, Culture, Sports, Science and Technology, expressed his opposition.
I heard that the majority of Japanese approved of making English education compulsory at elementary schools, according to public opinion polls.
Should MEXT introduce English education into elementary school?
(To be continued)
The Central Council for Education, a council in the Ministry of Education, Culture, Sports, Science and Technology (MEXT, a Japanese ministry), recommended in March 2006 that MEXT introduce compulsory English classes from 5th to 6th grade.
But in September 2006, Bunmei Ibuki, Minister of Education, Culture, Sports, Science and Technology, expressed his opposition.
I heard that the majority of Japanese approved of making English education compulsory at elementary schools, according to public opinion polls.
Should MEXT introduce English education into elementary school?
(To be continued)
Friday, February 16, 2007
New Teacher (2)
* * * * * * * * * *
Chapter 3 I Suffer From Severe Selective Mutism
New Teacher (2)
* * * * * * * * * *
[He Knew Selective Mutism?]
Mr.Y, my new homeroom teacher, realized me and paid special attention to me.
For instance, he consciously spoke about me in class not to isolate me from children.
He didn't blame my mutism, nor do vocal exercises.
He always took sides with me. One day in science class, he explained a word "no vital reaction." One boy said, "Tomishige has 'no vital reaction,'" and many classmates bourst out laughing. Mr. Y got angry, and scolded children. "Tomishige is not 'no vital reaction!' Tomishige is silent, but he thinks many things!"
Mr.Y's attitude toward me was similar to the attitude which teachers should take toward child with selective mutism. Maybe Mr. Y knew selective mutism, although he had never uttered a term "selective mutism" in the presence of me.
Another possibility was that he may not have known selective mutism, but he recognized me as a child who need special care, and dealt with my extreme shyness as possible as the way he thought of.
[Partiality?]
I had never known such a teacher. I was pleased with his special care. I liked him.
But I sometimes felt that he showed partiality.
Selectively mute children tend to avoid attracting attention, and I was one of them. But his special care of me made me conspicuous.
(To be continued)
Index of SM story
Chapter 3 I Suffer From Severe Selective Mutism
New Teacher (2)
* * * * * * * * * *
[He Knew Selective Mutism?]
Mr.Y, my new homeroom teacher, realized me and paid special attention to me.
For instance, he consciously spoke about me in class not to isolate me from children.
He didn't blame my mutism, nor do vocal exercises.
He always took sides with me. One day in science class, he explained a word "no vital reaction." One boy said, "Tomishige has 'no vital reaction,'" and many classmates bourst out laughing. Mr. Y got angry, and scolded children. "Tomishige is not 'no vital reaction!' Tomishige is silent, but he thinks many things!"
Mr.Y's attitude toward me was similar to the attitude which teachers should take toward child with selective mutism. Maybe Mr. Y knew selective mutism, although he had never uttered a term "selective mutism" in the presence of me.
Another possibility was that he may not have known selective mutism, but he recognized me as a child who need special care, and dealt with my extreme shyness as possible as the way he thought of.
[Partiality?]
I had never known such a teacher. I was pleased with his special care. I liked him.
But I sometimes felt that he showed partiality.
Selectively mute children tend to avoid attracting attention, and I was one of them. But his special care of me made me conspicuous.
(To be continued)
Index of SM story
Tuesday, February 13, 2007
New Teacher (1)
* * * * * * * * * *
Chapter 3 I Suffer From Severe Selective Mutism
New Teacher (1)
* * * * * * * * * *
I was promoted to the 5th grade.
My new homeroom teacher was Mr.Y. He was the first male teacher I had ever had.
Mr.Y seemed to be in his 40's and be the oldest teacher of all of the 5th grade homeroom teachers. But he insisted that he was 28.
He called children's names without honorifics. Although I had been firmly taught not to call children's names without honorifics in the previous school, I was used to be called that way then.
Soon after the new class started, Mr.Y realized that one child was a bullied in the class. He emphasized that bullying was wrong in homeroom period. I felt that how to deal with bullying differed from teacher to teacher.
Mr.Y realized me, a child with selective mutism, and saw me as a problem.
(To be continued)
Index of SM story
Chapter 3 I Suffer From Severe Selective Mutism
New Teacher (1)
* * * * * * * * * *
I was promoted to the 5th grade.
My new homeroom teacher was Mr.Y. He was the first male teacher I had ever had.
Mr.Y seemed to be in his 40's and be the oldest teacher of all of the 5th grade homeroom teachers. But he insisted that he was 28.
He called children's names without honorifics. Although I had been firmly taught not to call children's names without honorifics in the previous school, I was used to be called that way then.
Soon after the new class started, Mr.Y realized that one child was a bullied in the class. He emphasized that bullying was wrong in homeroom period. I felt that how to deal with bullying differed from teacher to teacher.
Mr.Y realized me, a child with selective mutism, and saw me as a problem.
(To be continued)
Index of SM story
Saturday, February 10, 2007
Warm Winter in Japan
Japanese archipelago is experiencing a record warm winter. My town has light snowfall. It's so weird.
According to the media, one possible cause of the warm winter is El Nino, ocean-atmosphere phenomenon.
I don't know if this year's warm winter is related to global warming or not.
According to the media, one possible cause of the warm winter is El Nino, ocean-atmosphere phenomenon.
I don't know if this year's warm winter is related to global warming or not.
Friday, February 09, 2007
Low Expectation
* * * * * * * * * *
Chapter 3 I Suffer From Severe Selective Mutism
Low Expectation
* * * * * * * * * *
[Low Expectation]
I thought that way when I was the 5-6th grade. Too pessimistic. My miserable experiences, e.g. selective mutism, bullying, and my father's passing, probably caused me to think that way.
(To be continued)
Index of SM story
Chapter 3 I Suffer From Severe Selective Mutism
Low Expectation
* * * * * * * * * *
[Low Expectation]
Life is pain. At least for me, my life has been so and will be so.
If so, how shold I manage to live such a painful life?
I guess the answer is to have low expectations. I have no hope for anything good in my life. I will suffer from misfortune throughout my life. My mother and teacher will not help me. I have no potential.
By thinking this way, I can endure pains in my life, because I have low expectation from the beginning.
I thought that way when I was the 5-6th grade. Too pessimistic. My miserable experiences, e.g. selective mutism, bullying, and my father's passing, probably caused me to think that way.
(To be continued)
Index of SM story
Thursday, February 08, 2007
Introduction of My 5-6th Grade Era
* * * * * * * * * *
Chapter 3 I Suffer From Severe Selective Mutism
Introduction of My 5-6th Grade Era
* * * * * * * * * *
[My Symptom]
When I was the 5-6th grade, my mutism was severe.
I could not speak and even smile. I had little facial expression. My movement was so slow as if I was in a daze. I was gloomy every day. I believed that I was a worthless boy and the world would be better off without me. I had an inferior complex.
I communicated with my classmates by nodding and shaking my head. I could read aloud in class, but my voice was very very thin.
In contrast, I was a chatterer in my house.
[I Didn't Know Selective Mutism]
I didn't know selective mutism then. I thought that my shy temperament caused me not to be able to speak in school. So, I had a strong desire to change my temperament.
But my shyness was so extreme that I sometimes guessed that I suffered from some sort of illness or disability and I should receive special education.
(To be continued)
Index of SM story
Chapter 3 I Suffer From Severe Selective Mutism
Introduction of My 5-6th Grade Era
* * * * * * * * * *
[My Symptom]
When I was the 5-6th grade, my mutism was severe.
I could not speak and even smile. I had little facial expression. My movement was so slow as if I was in a daze. I was gloomy every day. I believed that I was a worthless boy and the world would be better off without me. I had an inferior complex.
I communicated with my classmates by nodding and shaking my head. I could read aloud in class, but my voice was very very thin.
In contrast, I was a chatterer in my house.
[I Didn't Know Selective Mutism]
I didn't know selective mutism then. I thought that my shy temperament caused me not to be able to speak in school. So, I had a strong desire to change my temperament.
But my shyness was so extreme that I sometimes guessed that I suffered from some sort of illness or disability and I should receive special education.
(To be continued)
Index of SM story
Wednesday, February 07, 2007
smjournal.com
I got my domain name. :)
The Selective Mutism Journal (Japanese site)
http://smjournal.com/
Index of SM in Japan
The Selective Mutism Journal (Japanese site)
http://smjournal.com/
Index of SM in Japan
Monday, February 05, 2007
Selective Mutism Webring
The Selective Mutism Webring exists. Sorry, the webring is only for Japanese websites.
At present about 20 websites, including my weblog The Selective Mutism Journal, are registered. Most majour Japanese websites about selective mutism join the webring. All of them are created by individuals.
http://www.webring.ne.jp/cgi-bin/webring?ring=s5271;list
Index of SM in Japan
At present about 20 websites, including my weblog The Selective Mutism Journal, are registered. Most majour Japanese websites about selective mutism join the webring. All of them are created by individuals.
http://www.webring.ne.jp/cgi-bin/webring?ring=s5271;list
Index of SM in Japan
Friday, February 02, 2007
Visit Japan Campaign
Minister of land, infrastructure and transport government of Japan conducts Visit Japan Campaign now.
According to Japan Tourism Policy Website, 16.83 million Japanese visited foreign countries in 2002. On the other hand, only 6.14 million foreign tourists visited Japan in the same year.
I want many travelers to visit Japan.
The photo below is Aizuwakamatsu Castle in northern Japan.
According to Japan Tourism Policy Website, 16.83 million Japanese visited foreign countries in 2002. On the other hand, only 6.14 million foreign tourists visited Japan in the same year.
I want many travelers to visit Japan.
The photo below is Aizuwakamatsu Castle in northern Japan.
Thursday, February 01, 2007
My 4th Grade Era
* * * * * * * * * *
Chapter 2 I Get Selective Mutism
My 4th Grade Era
* * * * * * * * * *
In this way, my 4th grade era ended. I underwent many miserable experience during the year.
* I was suddenly compelled to move against my will.
* I got selective mutism when I entered a new school.
* I was severely bullied in the school.
* A friend of mine who saved me from bullying transferred soon after I got acquainted with him.
* My father passed away.
* I changed school again, but my mutism got worse.
As my father passed away, I became an eldest son of a fatherless family. As an eldest son, I had a desire to study hard to enter a prestigious university, get into a reputable company and marry with a good woman so as to rebuild my family. My mother and relatives also said to me, "You have to help your mother."
But I was a child with selective mutism. I felt anxious about my future. Can I rebuild my family?
What was worse was that my self-esteem lowered during the year. I felt gloomy every day. I believed that I was a worthless boy and the world would be better off without me.
Under such circumstances, I was promoted to the 5th grade.
(To be continued on the next chapter)
Index of SM story
Chapter 2 I Get Selective Mutism
My 4th Grade Era
* * * * * * * * * *
In this way, my 4th grade era ended. I underwent many miserable experience during the year.
* I was suddenly compelled to move against my will.
* I got selective mutism when I entered a new school.
* I was severely bullied in the school.
* A friend of mine who saved me from bullying transferred soon after I got acquainted with him.
* My father passed away.
* I changed school again, but my mutism got worse.
As my father passed away, I became an eldest son of a fatherless family. As an eldest son, I had a desire to study hard to enter a prestigious university, get into a reputable company and marry with a good woman so as to rebuild my family. My mother and relatives also said to me, "You have to help your mother."
But I was a child with selective mutism. I felt anxious about my future. Can I rebuild my family?
What was worse was that my self-esteem lowered during the year. I felt gloomy every day. I believed that I was a worthless boy and the world would be better off without me.
Under such circumstances, I was promoted to the 5th grade.
(To be continued on the next chapter)
Index of SM story
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