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Chapter 3 I suffer from severe selective mutism
My self-evaluation
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Report card is called Tsuchibo in Japan. At the end of the school term, homeroom teachers pass report cards to children.
[Original report cards]
Mr.Y, my homeroom teacher, created original report cards.
Existing report cards measured children's performance. Japanese language, mathematics, science, social studies, physical education, music, art and home economics. But Mr.Y thought that children should be measured from more different angles. For example, did the child follow rules in school? Was the child emotionally stable? How was the child's attitude in cleaning time?
In addition, he thought that children themselves as well as teacher should measure their performance.
So, Mr.Y added evaluation items to report cards. And he altered cards to have children themselves measure their peformance.
[My self-evaluation]
I measured my performance and showed my self-evaluation card to Mr.Y.
Mr.Y also measured my performance. Compared with my self-evaluation, he evaluated my performance more positively. Looking at my card, Mr.Y said, "I think you underestimate yourself. You may as well value yourself higher."
But I thought that my evaluation was appropriate, and Mr. Y overestimated me.
[Gap between self-evaluation and evaluation by others]
Since then, I was bothered with the gap between self-evaluation and evaluation by others. Many people valued me. But I didn't.
I heard that children with selective mutism tend to have low self-esteem. Was my self-evaluation low?
(To be continued)
Index of SM story
