Failed to Adapt to New School Environment

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Chapter 2 I Get Selective Mutism

Failed to Adapt to New School Environment

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[Not Only Selective Mutism]

I couldn't adapt to the new school.

My problem was not only selective mutism.

I was extremely weak in a class which children play in gymnasium. (It was not PE) I couldn't get involved in the activity, and could do nothing but sob.

Although some classmates were kind to me, no one tried to make friends with me. I was often alone in classroom.

Almost all classmates bullied me in the previous class. In this class two classmates bullied me. One was a boy, the other was a girl.

[Cold Teacher]

My new homeroom teacher was an old woman.

She seemed to be disinterested in me. She was cold toward me and left me alone. Unlike my previous homeroom teacher, she didn't even scold me.

But she had intimate relationship with classmates except for me. I had a distrust of her. I guessed that she may have slighted me, because she was in charge of me only for 3 months. (it was the third school term of the 4th grade)

I knew later that she took charge of this class from 3rd grade. In other words, she had developed close relationships with the children since 3rd grade. That's why she and the children were so intimate together.

[K, A Beautiful Girl]

Speaking of the 3rd school term of the 4th grade, I remember a girl, K.

She was a tall beautiful girl, who took care of me for some reason when I couldn't get involved in school activities and sob.

I didn't know why she sometimes looked after me. She was not close with me on a daily basis. Why?

Maybe my homeroom teacher assigned caretaker to her in secret, because she was the class vice-captain. Another possibilities were that she liked to help people in trouble.

Her care was helpful for me.

(To be continued)

Index of SM story

Changing School Worsen My Mutism

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Chapter 2 I Get Selective Mutism

Changing School Worsen My Mutism

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[Changing School Worsen My Mutism]

It was the first day of the third school term. My new school life in C elementary school started. I didn't want to be a selectively mute child again in this new school.

But ironically, my selective mutism got worse in this new school.

New class's atmosphere was warmer than previous class' one. Many classmates had a warm relationship with me. On the other hand, few children bullied me.

I'd believed that bullying caused me selective mutism. But my mutism worsened even in this warm class.

I worried about bullying rather than selective mutism. My attention, however, have focused more on my mutism since this day.

(To be continued)

Index of SM story

Defensive Pessimism

I've read The Positive Power of Negative Thinking. This book is about defensive pessimism, a relatively new psychological concept by Julie Norem and Nancy Cantor.

This book tells us that negative thinking is not necessarily a bad thing. Defensive pessimist can reach their goals by thinking negatively and controlling their anxiety in a strategic way.

Concept of defensive pessimism is relatively new, but it seems to be received many attention. Papers on defensive pessimism by Norem and Cantor are carried on many academic journals, including Journal of personality and social psychology, a top journal in the fields of social and personality psychology, and have got many citations.

Not only in academic society. Many newspapers and magazines, for example, New York Times, SELF, and the Washington Post have also cited defensive pessimism.

As a negative thinker, I'm very pleased to know that psychologists begin to recognize the positive effect of negative thinking. Most Japanese also believe that negative thinking is bad.

Japanese edition of The Positive Power of Negative Thinking is published. But this book doesn't seem to sold well in Japan as in the US. Few newspapers and magazines in Japan have seemed to cite this book.

Changing School Again

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Chapter 2 I Get Selective Mutism

Changing School Again

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[My Family's Future Course]

As I mentioned earlier, I moved from Kansai region to here in the 4th grade, because my father transferred to another hospital. My family shared relatives' house near the hospital and expected my father to recover from his illness.

Unfortunately, my father passed away. What was worse was that I got selective mutism in new school and was severely bullied. But my mother didn't know I suffered from such anxiety disorder.

After my father's passing, my mother and relatives decided on my family's future course.

a) My family will move again and live in a new house.
b) The new house will be near relatives' house. Relatives said that they will help us.
c) We will not return to Kansai region.
d) We will move to outside this school area in order to change school, because Tomishige is bullied in the school.
e) Mother will work part-time.

I had mixed feelings about the decision, especially "We will not return to Kansai region." When I was in Kansai, I wasn't a mute child. So, I wanted to return to Kansai and restore my life again. But there was no guarantee that returning to Kansai made me a normal child again. If I went back to Kansai but my selective mutism wasn't cured, how my former classmates and homeroom teacher would feel about me? I would not bear to be looked at with curiosity.

[To Neighboring School]

As a result of house hunting, my family moved to C elementary school area, near A elementary school area where we shared my relatives' house. Of course, I changed to C school. C school was my father's alma mater.

This transfer was a godsend for me. Leaving school meant that I could escape from stressful environment where many classmates bullied me. What's more, I got a chance to change from a timid selectively mute child to a fearless child.

But there was no guarantee that I would not be bullied in new school again. Another anxiety was that C elementary school was in the same junior high school area as A elementary school. I would reunion with bully when I went to junior high school.

a) A elementary school: I would transfer from this school.
b) B elementary school: A school where M, a friend of mine who protected me from bullying, transfer to.
c) C elementary school: I would transfer to this school.
d) D junior high school: Most children who graduated from A, B, and C elementary school go on to this school.

[New School Term]

It was the first day of the third term. My new school life in C elementary school started. I didn't want to be a selectively mute child again in this school. I went through school gate with hopes and fears.

(To be continued)

Index of SM story

My Father's Passing (2)

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Chapter 2 I Get Selective Mutism

My Father's Passing (2)

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[Selective Mutism and My Father's Passing]

Myth seems to spread that selective mutism occur after someone's passing. But I suppose that my symptom isn't related to my father's passing. I got selective mutism before my father's passing, and my symptom didn't get worse after the incident.

[I Always Bring Misfortune?]

My father passed away at my 10th birthday. Strange to say, my grandfather also passed away 5 days before I was born.

"You always bring misfortune."

Since this day, my family sometimes said to me. Of course, it's a joke for them.

But I thought that maybe I was destined to be unhappy. As I mentioned earlier, my misfortune was not only my father's passing. I've been bullied since I went to school, and got selective mutism in the 4th grade.

[Bullies' Attitude]

When I went back to school, I realized that my classmates' attitude toward me changed. Bullies didn't tease me as they used to be. I supposed that even bullies didn't have a feeling of teasing a boy whose father passed away.

But K, my classmate who bullied me most, was as usual.What a heartless man he was!

About a week later, my classmates began to bully me again.

[Changing School Again]

After my father's passing, my mother and relatives discussed my family's future course. The discussion was related to my changing school.

(To be continued)

Index of SM story

The Elements of Style

I bought The Elements of Style, a classical composition textbook.

This book is well-known among not only English-speaking peoples, but also Japanese advanced English learners.

I'm reading the book well to write my stories of selective mutism with good writing style. :)

Happy New Year!

Here's my Nengajou, Japanese New Year's card to you. :)