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Chapter 3 I suffer from severe selective mutism
Fatherless family
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[Latchkey child]
As I mentioned earlier, my father passed away when I was the fourth grade. A few month after my father's funeral, my family bought a new house, and moved from my relatives' house to there.
When I went home after school, my mother was at work. I was alone. I became a latchkey child.
[No friends]
Even after I moved to a new house, I didn't (couldn't) make friends. Although there were some children around my house, I avoided them. When I happened to see them, I got mute.
[After-school lessons]
Before my father passed away, I went to Shodo (Japanese Calligraphy) and swimming school after school. But after my father's passing, I didn't.
I sometimes asked for permission from my mother to go to cram school. Some classmates went to cram school and many of them had a good school record. I was envious of them. But she didn't give me permission.
I didn't know why she didn't give me permission, but I supposed that was because my fatherless family didn't have enough money.
[Staying indoor]
Before my father passed away, we family sometimes went on trips on weekend. But after my father's passing, we didn't. I supposed that was because my mother was too tired to go on trips because of work and household chores. Or my family couldn't afford to go on trips.
So, we didn't go out even on weekend. We stayed indoor.
In this way, I didn't mingle with friends. I stayed indoor most of the time.
(To be continued)
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