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Chapter 4 Selective mutism and my junior high school years
My graduation
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[Entrance exam of ε public high school]
I already passed entrance exam of η private high school. But I wished to go to ε public high school rather than η private high school. So, I studied hard to pass the entrance exam of ε public high school.
Before the exam, my junior high school hold assemblies for students to explain what to prepare for exams. I joined an assembly of applicants for ε public high school. I was surprised to see that M was also joined the assembly. M was my former classmate. When she and I were in the sixth grade, there was a rumor that she loved me. If she and I passed the entrance exam, we would go to the same high school.
The next day, entrance exams were held. The exams included a English listening comprehension test. After the exam, I felt a sense of accomplishment.
[Graduation ceremony]
A day after the exam, graduation ceremony was held. I graduated from junior high school. But to me, true graduation was when my future course was decided.
[Failed exam]
About a week ago, application results were announced at each public high school. I went to ε public high school to know whether I passed the exam. Examinee's numbers of successful candidates were presented on a bulletin board at the school. But my examinee's number was not listed. I failed the entrance exam.
When I stood in front of the bulletin board, a classmate of mine approached me. "Tomishige, you failed? Me, too." My face remained impassive, although I failed the entrance exam. As I have selective mutism, my face always impassive. But the classmate got angry when he looked at my face. "Aren't you frustrated, Tomishige? I'm so frustrated!"
[Leaving ceremony]
At the end of month leaving ceremony for teachers was held in my public junior high school. Attendance at the ceremony was optional. I attended the ceremony, because my homeroom teacher would leave the school. After the ceremony, I saw and greeted my teacher. She said to me, "I'm sorry you failed exam, Tomishige. I think you should be greedy." That was the last day I visited the junior high school.
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I graduated from junior high school. Although got to be able to smile slightly in school settings, I couldn't overcome selective mutism completely in this three years.
(To be continued to the next chapter)
Index of SM story
